Wednesday Wisdom - June 19

This week’s NINE Wednesday Wisdom

Contributor: Kimberly Goeman

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Every so often, I find myself frustrated after someone asks me for advice. They receive it, but they don't take it. And they seem to stay stuck where they are. I'm left feeling irritated and asking myself why they asked for my opinion at all. 

Recently, I found just how much resentment this was causing me and how the story I was telling myself was that they were intentionally avoiding my advice. Isn't it amazing just how something so seemingly innocent can conjure up such strong emotions?

I took a step back and realized:  

Just because I want it for them, doesn't mean it's what they want for themselves.

Does this resonate with you?

Here are some helpful tips if you find yourself in a similar position:

  • Keep in mind that everyone is on their own journey. "What works for me, doesn't work for others."

  • Remember that your input is valued. This person would not be asking for your advice and opinions unless they respect and appreciate you! 

  • Give it time. You may have planted a seed of wisdom with your words. This person may just need a little time to understand how it relates to them. 

  • Avoid the word “should”. It can cause walls to go up. “You should” might mean you’re not listening to their needs. Instead, talk about what you did or might do in their situation. 

  • Ask questions. Most people know their truth or have their own answers. Sometimes the right questions give them a chance to speak it and solve their own problems.

  • Remember the The Four Agreements:

    • Agreement #2 - Don't Take Anything Personally: Don't take it personal that they aren't handling the situation as you would have.

    • Agreement #3 - Don't Make Assumptions: Don't assume there is intentionality, or spite, behind their decision to chose another path.

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