Setting Healthy Boundaries

When you set appropriate boundaries and stop taking on other people’s responsibilities, they’re left with no choice but to complete their own tasks, resolve their own problems, and find their own resources. At first, you’ll probably feel guilty about this, but it will help to remember that this means other people will take more responsibility for themselves, which will improve their functioning and ability to do for themselves.
— Ilene Strauss Cohen, PhD

Setting those healthy boundaries also means that you will start saying "yes" because you want to, not out of obligation or to please others.

Healthy boundaries can help you avoid resentment.

You may stop feeling responsible for someone else's happiness, and more in tune with your own feelings and goals.

In relationships, clear boundaries are key to earning respect.

Feeling resentful?

Pay attention to every situation and moment where you start to feel resentment. THAT'S exactly where you are lacking healthy boundaries.

The hard truth is that you have to take responsibility for that situation. It's not the other person's fault for how you're feeling. The resentment is usually caused by a lack of communication and clarity -- are you defining what is okay and not okay? Are you protecting yourself with boundaries?

Here's how to start:

  • Define your core values: What defines you? Who are you? What is non-negotiable? These values highlight what we stand for. They are essentially a personal code of conduct.
  • Admit: You can't change others. Time to make changes for yourself. You can change how you deal with and respond to others, but you can't change them.

To dig deeper into setting healthy boundaries, join us at NINE. Teacher, and NINE Founder, Kym Ventola would love to see you in her class!